D&G Practicum Journal: January 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Happiest Outdoor Activity Ever!

Day 21: January 28, 2010; Thursday

Yung outdoor activity ng umagang 'to yung masasabi kong happiest, most fun, and the most exciting of all the outdoor activities the residents had. Why? Kasi lahat halos sa mga residents ay na-allowed na mag-outdoor activity, except lang sa 2, yung isa na bagong dating tapos yung isa naman ay sariling desisyon na ayaw mag-outdoor. I was busy then putting back the letterings of the theme that week kasama si Rio kaya hindi ko masyado nasaksihan yung mga reaksyon ng mga residents sa first outdoor activity nila after ng 1-week-sanction nila. Sayang lang at hindi pa nakasama yung 2. It was the first time din na makita kong puno ng residents yung 'garden' ng LCRC. haay. Sana marami pang moments na gan'to. Nakakatuwa silang panoodin lahat kasi makikita sa kanila talaga na ine-enjoy nila yung time na yun, at yun ang nag-mark na finally, tapos na nga ang sanction nila. ^_^

Nag-half day lang pala ako ng araw na 'to, pati sina Kalya & Haha, kasi may exam kasi sa Physics the following day, while naiwan naman sila Rio and Dana. During the morning session, hindi kami naka-attend ng worship service kasi kinailangan kami para sa 'photo-shoot' ni Doc Randy. it was an honor for us na makasama dun pero nanghinayang din kami na hindi na kami makaka-attend ng worship service. During the 'photo-shoot', Doc Randy na we should have a Life Coaching session since we are graduating students. Wow! We are hopeful to that. ^_^

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Happy Graduation!

Day 20: January 27, 2010; Wednesday

This day was a super special day for the Most Encouraging Resident of LCRC. We started it super special by preparing for an extraordinary event that evening. Yes. Special. Everything was special. ^_^

One more thing that made this day special was that their sanction had finally ended. Yes! Finally! After a week. Finally they can enjoy watching their favorites TV shows again, accept calls from loved ones, had their snacks in between meals. So, napaka-special talaga ng araw na 'to para sa kanila hindi lang sa Man of the Hour (after hours later. :))

Kaso bago pa man yung special na event that evening, Jean and I had a trouble regarding the program. Kasi we were not able to inform and coordinate with the people supposedly involved sa program, hindi kasi namin alam pa'no sila iinform (esp. the residents) kasi surprise yung party, hindi nila dapat malaman, so Jean and I let the Happy group and the Shout For Joy group na mag-practice, telling them it was for the culminating activity sa Friday that week.

Nevertheless, naging successful pa din ang surprise graduation ni Most Encouraging Resident. Naging napaka-emotional na kahot ako hindi ko napigilan maiyak, sa mga messages ng family ng resident and sa mga messages ng mga kapwa niya residents na talagang nagmahal sa kanya at tinuring siyang isang kuya sa loob ng LCRC. The most inspiring message for me was given by the Big Brother Resident, sabi niya kasi, since makakalabas na siya, he was hopeful na pipiliin na ni Man of the Hour yung magiging friends niya sa labas, it is good to be friendly but be wise in choosing his friends. It was the best message I've heard.

Although masaya ang program, masaya ang lahat para sa Most Encouraging Resident , napansin din namin na yung ibang residents ay makikitaan ng lungkot at inggit. Lungkot kasi mawawala na siya at inggit kasi syempre sila din gusto nilang matapos yung program nila. Hindi naman maiiwasan yun sa kanila. Especially sa supposedly kasabayaan niya na mag-graduate din kasi right after the program, while taking out all the decorations sa hall, he asked me (and others) kung siya kaya kailan siya ga-graduate, alam daw ba namin, maganda din ba pag graduation niya. Hindi ko siya masagot ng matino, puro na lang sinasabi ko "Siguro kuya malapit na din yun." at "Syempre bongga din yung sa iyo!" According mismo kay Sir, ine-expect niya kasi na magkasabay sila na ga-graduate since magkasunod lang sila na dumating sa center. Sadly, hindi sila nagkasabay. :(

At the end of the day, I did not only get emotional with the event but also learned the importance of coordinating with other people. Yun ang pinakana-learn ko that day. And I promised myself na hindi na mauulit yun.

Again congratulations to the Most Encouraging Resident!!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Going Out of the Box

Day 19: January 25, 2010; Monday

This week's theme is FINDING MEANING IN LIFE. Sir Al had assigned me as in-charged and the point person for this week. To begin the week, Laura facilitated an activity which we anticipated to be dramatic, dramatic in a sense that we expect them to react violently and emotionally to the activity. It was Rio's original activity, Laura just added a twist to it which made her responsible for what might the outcome be. And Laura indeed felt guilty after the activity, which made her promised to herself that she won't conduct an activity again until she recovered. tsk. haha! Through that activity, we witnessed how the residents expresses their irritation, anger. Kahit sa simpleng tingin lang nila, kita at ramdam na namin na nagalit sila sa ginawa namin. May ibang cool pa din after at nag-comment ng "okay lang..", pero may iba pa din talaga na titig pa lang kakatakutan na. haay. So, kahit hindi ako yung facilitator nun, naramdaman ko din mga naramdaman ni Laura. :(

Anyway, for me, the highlight for this day would be the discussion we had with Sir Al with every before and after the session. In the morning, he again reminded us that we did not come there to teach the residents. Kasi tama nga naman diba, no adults would like to be preach and taught by a kid or some one younger. I actually noticed the moment when the residents shut themselves off from the discussion. First, na-shock sila sa ginawa namin sa mga artworks nila then second, it appeared that they were being spoon-feed. However, I won't blame the facilitator with that kasi I know she was feeling nervous na sa mga nagiging reactions ng mga residents, maybe she couldn't think of other intervention para ma-break yung rage ng mga residents. Kaya pilit na lang namin siya ni-comfort during lunch kasi she kept on blaming herself. tsk.

According to Sir Al, we really could not avoid such to happen. Especially when dealing with people like them. And we must not blame ourselves kung ganun man yung mangyari, the problem is with them, they are having trouble accepting yung kung ano man yung gusto namin na ipakita sa kanila, thus, since we are the ones who are capable of understanding, kami na lang din muna ang mag-aadjust para sa kanila. hindi kami dpata papatalo or papadala sa mga reactions nila, sa pag-shut off nila or pagre-reject sa'min, Sir Al actually gave us an advice na we must learn to build shield against sa mga yun. At naniniwala ako dun kasi kung hindi, hindi lang physically, pati emotionally at psychologically ay mai-stress kami sa mga ganun. haay. T_T

For the afternoon session, the highlight was my activity. I was just so sad na tingin ko hindi ko siya na-justify. :( I find the activity relevant naman kaya sinama ko siya sa SLE for that theme, Going out of the borders in order to find meaning in your life, kaso nung discussion na namin with Sir Al, ang dami pa palang unanswered questions na hindi ko nakita so up until I was the one with the mic in hand, yung ulo ko naghahanap pa din ng answers sa mga tanong na yun na although nasagot ni Sir ay pilit kong iniisip pa'no yun idedeliver sa mga residents. The start of the processing part, I would say was okay, yung mga insights nanggaling sa mga residents mismo and am found myself delighted somehow kasi maliban dun sa mga madalas magsalita, may iba pang nag-participate tulad ng bagong resident saka yung resident na para sakin pinaka-makulit (hehe..). Yet, eventually, I noticed that the residents were getting bored, one was paulit-ulit na yung sinasabi nila, then I personally was so unsure of what I was doing, i'm sure napapansin na nila yun. What made it worst was yung utak ko mismo naguluhan na, nahilo na sa paikot-ikot na discussion ko plus I was sensing rejection tapos nervous pa, which made me so numb of other person aside from the resident.s I did not dare to look at my co-practicumers especially at our supervisor kasi natatakot ako, yun talaga nararamdaman ko during that moment. I could have melted from that spot talaga then. Whew! But Sir saved me! I did not know what made me look at my side and saw him giving signs of ''last two residents to speak and cut it!" Glad I had followed. whew!

After that session, again Sir talked to us to deliver some brutal feedbacks (although I did not actually believed kasi he can be more brutal than that. tsk.). He gave us advice about proper delivery messages, kasama dun yung tone namin, na dapat i-set namin yung mood na congruent sa activiy namin, to minimize "why" questions to give the objective of the activity first, and learning how to stop talking. Sabi ni Sir, there are things that we want to hear and there are also things that we need to hear, at yung latter yung mas essential kaya dapat maging open kami sa mga brutal feedbacks na mare-receive namin.

These brutal feedbacks, I believe will help me go out of my borders and expand my potentials, and maybe eventually, help me find the true meaning on my life. ^_^

Thursday, January 21, 2010

SMILE and be Happy!

Day 18: January 21, 2010;Thursday

It was a sad Thursday for me. Not because we were given another demerit (Thank God! :)) but because I was not able to attend this week's worship service. Kasi naman, turn ko na para maging fax girl. Hehehe.. Buti na lang kasama ko sina Haha and Mary kasi pinagawa naman sila ng banner para sa party ni Nurse Joan. Like me, the two of them are sad to missed the worship service. buti na lang malakas yung sound system sa session hall kaya nakakasabay pa kami sa pagkanta nila, lalo pa't gusto namin mga kinakanta nila. May isa nga lang kanta na tagalog kung saan may isang nag-lead ng song, siguro kasi nagkaroon sila ng technical problems. Akala ko nga classmate namin na si Laura yun, yun pala resident yun. Ganda ng boses. Galing. Nag-iimprove na talaga yung resident na yun. Good for her!

After ng service at bago pa makaalis si Sir Al, nasabihan niya pa kami about last minute preparations, which he really dislike to us. Isa pala yun sa dahilan ng technical problems sa service.

Then at afternoon, instead of movie watching, mas pinili ng mga residents na mag-rehearse na lang ng kanilang dance. I thought mas gugustuhin pa nilang manood since kasama sa sanction nila ang pagbabawal manood ng TV, pero mas ginusto pa din nila mag-practice. So it showed that they really are enjoying what they're doing, kahit na under sanction sila. Kaso during the rehearsal, napansin namin na hindi na sila ganoon ka-energetic, especially yung Group 1, unlike yung Group 2 na kahit sinabi ng leader nila na nabu-burn out na sila, masigla pa din sila sumayaw. Siguro maysdo na lang silang naiinip sa tagal ng sanction nila kaya ganun, kasi kahit meryenda wala din sila. :(

Naiwan pa pala ko sa loob ng session hall dahil pinagawa ko sa isang resident na kakabalik alng ule yung art activity niya para meron din siyang sa kanya sa wall, tapos tumulong pa ko king Dana and Laura sa pagdagdag ng decorations sa stage. Naabutan ko na nga dinner ng residents, at first time ko yun. may isa pang nag-alok sa'kin kumaiin pero syempre hindi naman ako pwede smabay sa kanila. Kahit na natatakam ako sa ulam nila. Hehe.. Napansin ko naman na may mga assigned seats pala talaga bawat resident, hindi ko lang ma-figure out pa'no sila ni-group sa mga mesa nila kasi may isang mesa na napakahaba naman pero 3 lang silang nagshi-share while merong mas maliit na mesa na 4 naman yung nagshi-share. ?_? Then bago pala kami matapos sa pagde-decorate, na-allowed na yung isang resident na tanggalin sa pagkakatali (simula nung tanhali) dahil sa behavior niya ata, what was I surprised about was that parang walang nangyari sa kanya kasi ni-greet a niya kami ni Dana with a full smile. Smanatalang dati pilit yung smile niya. Galing diba? That should exactly how one create joy and happiness. SMILE and be happy! :)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

It's so nice to be happy! Sha-la-la!

Day 17: January 20, 2010; Wednesday

Monday repeats itself. And I felt so much worst. Being me on the blame. Especially when I couldn't do anything, am didn't do anything to prevent that. Haay. Minsan talaga hindi nakatutulong pagiging emotional ko. Hindi ko tuloy magawa dapat kong gawin. :(

We received another demerit of 8 hours because I arrived late. While Sir Al was talking to us that morning for the change in activities that morning, I could not look into him or to anyone else. because if I did, am afraid I might cry. So I just listened and took notes of his reminders. Like us, the residents are under a sanction pala, since Tuesday night pa, and until Tuesday night next week. This is due to their violations of ground rules like hoarding of medicines, papers, bullying other residents and pakikipag-agawan ng food. Halos lahat ng privileges nila ay prohibited sila. Tulad namin, iilan lang din yung responsible sa mga violations na yun. Now i see how harsh Sir can be, if he wanted us to learn, he knows what to do it and how to do it. But I respect that regarding our demerit, kasi once (hindi lang pala once) na kaming napagsabihan pero hindi pa din kami, ako, naging acountable sa actions namin, ko. Sir admitted himself once dati na he really can be mean, if the situation requires so, and now I understand. :(

Since walang mapaglilibangan ang residents dahil sa sanction nila, naisip ni Sir na magkaroon sila ng dance contest para sa culminating activity sa Friday. So our job for that morning ay para samahan ang mga residents sa kanilang rehearsal. The residents are grouped into 2, and each group will have an hour and 15 minutes to practice in the morning, in exchange of their aerobics.

yung Group 1 yung unang nag-practice from 9:30 to 10:45 AM. Shout for Joy! yung song ng first group. Since sinabi namin na sila ang dapat bumuo ng choreography nila, halos karamihan sa kanila nagsa-suggest ng mga steps, pero may isang nag stood out upon going in front of the group and told them to follow her. She used some steps pa din naman na ni-suggest ng isa pang female resident, pero most of the time, she took lead during most of their rehearsal.

After Group 1, syempre Group 2 naman. Happy! naman yung song for the Group 2. Like the first group, they asked us to lend them the steps, pero ganun din sinagot namin na sila dapat gumawa nun, pero tinulungan naman sila ng 2 resident-volunteer na bumisita nun and they willingly accepts the steps offered by these resident-volunteers. With this group, kapansin pansin na may isang nag-stood out as leader. As a leader, aside from being the one to be followed, he also encourages his members na nakikita niyang hindi ganoon masydao energetic. The members willingly follow their leader naman. There is also a resident na nakasama ko na sa isang activity dati na nkitaan ko ng improvement when it comes to interacting with his co-residents and sa participation kasi next to the leader, siya yung pinakaganado sumayaw. I see that he is enjoying what he is doing. Good for him!

Watching them dance lessen my worry even for a while, nakakatuwa nga sila asi hindi mo makikita sa kanila na parang ang sad-sad nila dahil sa sanction niya. They were able to create happiness and joy through their rehearsal. ^_^
For the afternoon session, since Miss Faye is coming, the residents resumed their art activity last week. But before that, Rio and I were given a chance to have a free session with Psychologist Miss Villi. Since it was our first meeting, she asked me to do the Life Mapping. Tapos hinayaan niya kong mag-share sa kanya ng mga concerns ko especially sa mga field na mababa yung satisfaction ko (which is health & fitness and work & career, because of our demirit.) Then she gave me advices to improve myself in this field. :) Now back to the art activity, the residents are asked to cut na yung mga silhouette nila at dinikit na nila sa walls ng session hall. All their silhouette looked so good on that wall. Nakaka-inspire pa yung mga nakasulat sa mga yun. ^_^
After ng activity, we helped Bethel in interpreting the tests she had administered to an applicant. Laura and I focused on the Sack's Completion Test. Since first time namin mag-interpret nun kasi hindi naman kami na-expose sa ganun, nahirapan kami sobra, tinulungan na na kami nina Rio and Dana kaso hindi pa din namin nagawa. Ang hirap ng walang background. Haay.
Pinilit kong maging Happy pa din kahit na may demerit kami. Kahit na hindi ko naka-usap si Sir al regarding dun. Tsk. Sabi nga sa kanta ng Group 2, It's so nice to be happy!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Creating Joy and Happiness in Life

Day 16: January 18, 2010; Monday

Our theme for this week was CREATING JOY AND HAPPINESS IN LIFE. Unfortunately, the start of the week did not seemed to cohere with our theme. How are supposed to create joy and happiness from a sanction given to us by Sir Al? honestly napaisip talaga ko nun, lalo pa't isa ko sa responsible sa sanction na yun. And by the way, what was the sanction? It was a 10-hour demerit from our time. 10 hours. As if hindi kami pumasok ng araw na iyon. That was really super sad. :( At the same time, I felt so guilty din dahil isa ko sa nagbigay ng dahilan. Haay. Sorry classmates. :( Thus, Sir Al, once again, reminded our group to be MINDFUL sa mga tasks namin and RESPONSIBLE sa mga actions and BEHAVIOR (especially sakin 'to. :() namin. So how are we be capable of creating joy and happiness despite of the sanction? Well, this blog will show.

Since it is Monday, we were to facilitate SLEs in both morning and afternoon. From then on, ni-clear na namin division ng group namin for the morning and afternoon session. Mary, Nadz, Rio and Bude are assigned for the morning session so they will be the admin.'s work in the afternon; while I, Haha, Dana, and Laura arefor the afternoon activity and so is in charge of the morning's admin.works.

Before the morning activity, we did experiencing muna ng mga activities na ifa-facilitate namin. Natuto and nasanay na kaming mag-dry run ng mga activities sa amin mismo kasi maliban sa nagkakaroon kami ng idea paano tatakbo yung activity, and magkakaroon kami ng expectations sa mga magiging response ng mga residents, nag-e-enjoy din kami actually. So we tried the Human Compass na na-enjoy pa din namin kahit konti lang kami at Masaya Ako courtesy of Nadz.

During the morning session, it was good to see na na-enjoy ng ma residents yung Human Compass, except na may mga comments lang hindi daw maka-score group nila kasi madalas na nasa corner si Mary. Hahaha! But everyone was happy kahit na yung grupo na yun mismo. they illustrated us how to be happy despite losing. ^_^

For the main activity, Nadz took in charged. So they were divided in 3 groups and are asked to perform a skit about the scene that they had pick, but saying only "Masaya ako!" sa iba't ibang emotions. The activity was so effective in a way na lahat almost ay nag-participate at game na game. While observing, nakikita ko sa bawat grupo na meron talaga sa kanila na nagle-lead, at may mga mas gusto yung sumunod sa pinapagawa. May grupo naman na halos lahat leader each of them create their own role, pero hindi nagka-clash mga suggestions and ideas nila, in fact, they were so cooperative with each other na kahit nagdedecide sila by theselves kung ano gagawin nila, nako-compliment nun yung decisions ng iba. Then during the skit, I wouldn't see not one doing her role so well. i was one of the judge and it was definitely difficult to choose which group to win. For me, all of them are winners. ~~^_^~~ The activity showed the residents, and us, to be happy despite being in an unhappy situation. Seeing the brighter side, ika nga.

To end the morning session, Sir Al gave a lecture about the three ways na pwedeng magamit to create joy and happiness in life. These are the following:

Attitude ------------> Behavior

Behavior ------------> Attitude

Thoughts + Feelings ------------> Behavior

I found these formulas (sabi nga) helpful to me actually. Kasi may mga part ng discussion kung saan feeling ako pinaparinggan ako ni Sir, especially sa second formula, yung may conditioning, yung nagiging habit yung isang behavior na laging pinapakita. Na-realize ko naman na hindi pala maganda yun, kasi nagiging hindi magnda yung impression ng iba sa akin.
So i took mental notes of that talaga, because I am sure that would be helpful for me. So by the way, how are these formulas can help someone create joy and happiness? It is when one puts into his self, his mind happiness he will be able to show to others how happy he is. Or kung palagi na masaya yung disposisyon niya sa sarili niya, nakokondisyon yung sarili niya na i-maintain yung ganung disposisyon, na laging masaya. At lastly, yung behavior ng isang tao, nade-determine yun ng kung ano yung nasasaisip niya at nararamdaman niya. So kung masaya ka, maipapakita yun through actions mo. It is so good to share happiness, ayon nga sa aming quote for the week:

Happiness never decreases by being shared.

so you can always share happiness. ^_^ Like the female resident Ate M at the discussion, through her sharing of her ideas and thoughts and insights, she had shared to us how happy is her at that time. I was really surprised by her insights, it was something I did not expect from her kasi it was very different from the first time na naka-encounter namin siya. She was so shy and avoids participating in activities.

Before meeting the residents for the afternoon session, ni-meting muna kami ni Sir Al para bigyan kami ng reminder about a female resident that is being suddenly discharge at that moment. He told us not to speak regarding it with any of the residents, at para alamin na din niya yung mga ifa-facilitate naming activities para sa hapon. While Laura was discussing her processing for the Cat-Mouse-Trap activity, Sir Al had composed a quote na bagay sa activity, which was:

Happiness comes from having suitable goals

and using suitable means to achieve them.

followed by a short discussion that he told Laura to include in the processing. In order for the means in achieving one's goal to be suitable, it must be S-M-A-R-T! Meaning:

S- pecific

M- easurable

A - ttainable

R - ealistic

T- ime-bound

kailangan maging smart yung mga paraan or ways sa pag-achieve ng goals na siyang magbibigay ng happiness sayo. :)

Laura indeed included this to her discussion and good thing, nakisali naman yung mga residents sa pagbibigay ng mga suggestions or means para sa goal ng isa nilang co-resident na nag-volunteer mag-share ng kanilang goal. The residents were attentive whenever Laura asked if nagfo-fall ba sa S-M-A-R-T categories yung mga sinasabi nila. It was so nice listening to them indeed.

And now, to answer my earlier question, on how are we supposed to create happiness out of our sanction? Well now, since we know our goals - to do our work efficiently, be on time- we now have to thought of the suitable means to achieve them, that is, to be responsible and mindful and me - kumilos na mas mabilis. :)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Tagalog Movie Watching! ^_^

Day 15: January 14, 2010; Thursday

Since Thursday, may worship service ule from Pastor Paul. Isa ang worship service na 'to sa mga pinakagusto ko sa practicum namin at LCRC. Kahit na minsan napapapikit ako habang nagsasalita si Pastor Paul (sorry po. :(), inaabangan at inaabangan ko pa din 'to. Dahil dito, sabi nga ni Mary sa kanyang blog, ay nafi-fill ang aming spiritual tank. Specially sakin na hindi talaga regular magsimba. So as much as possible, gusto kong uma-attend ng service ni Pastor paul at pinipilit kong hindi mapikit during ng sermon niya. Kasi every after service, I feel better and medyo naki-clear yung mind from some worries, especially that Pstor Paul relate his every sermon sa kung anong theme meron that week. ^_^

Then for the afternnon session, the residents were supposed to watch Tuesdays with Morrie, pero since hindi ko siya natapos ma-download (kasi hindi ma-transfer ng ate ko sa PC namin), isang tagalog film na lang pinanood nila. Pangako Ikaw Lang ata yung title nung movie, na medyo matagal na din ata. At first, naisip ko baka hindi magustuhan ng mga residents yung movie, baka mas gusto nila ng foreign or baka ma-bore sila kasi medyo luma na ata yung movie. But as we were watching the movie, napansin ko na nag-eenjoy naman yung mga residents kasi may mga comedy scenes din kahit na romantic siya, maririnig kami na sabay-sabay magtatawanan. Saka sa mga romantic scenes kung saan yung mga residents mismo nagkakantyawan sila. Nakakatuwa sila panoodin actually kasi ine-enjoy nila kahit ano pa yung ginagawa or pinapanood nila. ^_^

After the movie wathcing, and before leaving, nagpapirma muna kami ng aming daily progress report kay Sir Al para tumaas taas naman grade namin sa practicum, Sir Al even put comments na din kasi naghahanap din ng ganun practicum adviser namin. Hehe.. Siguro masyadong napagod nun si Sir Al kaya nagremind siya after na hanggang 2 entries lang ang pipirmahan niya per day after nun. Para matuto na din kami na hindi dapat ginagawa ng sabay-sabay lahat ng progress report, kasi kami din mahihirapan, at ganun din sa aming blog dito.

~~^_^~~

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Meeting the Real Art Angel. ^_^

Day 14: January 13, 2010; Wednesday

Since it is Wednesday, the residents had their aerobics, and since naayos na yung player nila at tapos na din naman sina Gayle sa practicum nila, ginamit na ng mga residents yung aerobics video. Kung yung last time nanood lang kami, this time nakisali na kaming mga practicumers. We grab weights na din pero hindi na kami naki-share sa mats ng mga residents syempre. Naenganyo ako sumunod kasi may isang step dun na tingin ko makakatulong sa aking back pain, kaya nga lang kailangan nakadapa, pero dahil sa gusto ko siya talaga ay ginawa ko pa din, buti na lang sinamahan ako ni Jean sa pag-back raise, so hindi ako ganoon nahiya. :)

On the afternoon session, first time naming na-meet si Miss Faye, ang tunay na Art Angel ng LCRC, para sa art activity nila. Wednesday afternoon is actually an art session at LCRC. Because it is an art session, it will involve lots of art materials, kaya pinaalalahanan kami ni Sir na i-inventory ang lahat ng materials na dadalhin namin sa loob, we must make sure na kumpleto yung mga gamit after ng activity especially. Para samin, naging napakalaking responsibility nun.

The activity was about drawing your partner's silhouette in a manila paper and then putting their dreams inside their silhoutte. During the activity, napansin ko na nag-eenjoy talaga yung mga residents kapag art activity. marami sa kanila ang artistic and mahilig sa madaming kulay. Ang saya nga sumali e, kaso kaming practicumers yung nagfa-facilitate sa bawat pairs. Yung pair na inobserbahan ko mostly ay sina Ate D(uli) and Kuya Ed. Si ate D, gustung gusto niya ginagawa niya, she used different colors for drawings as well as for writing her dreams, so medyo hinayaan ko na siya mag-isa para tuunan naman yung ka-partner niya, si Kuya Ed kasi napansin ko sa kanya since nung first na ma-encounter ko siya na madali siyang umayaw so naisip ko na i-encourage pa siya habang nagdo-drawing siya para mapaganda pa niya yung silhouette niya, I kept on asking him what are his dreams, aside sa mga naisulat niya na iilan lang. I tried my best para i-encourage pa siya sa paggawa. Kaso sabi niya satisfied na daw siya sa drawing niya and wala na siyang ibang dreams na gustong ilagay. He seemed to enjoy and not annoyed sa pangungulit ko sa kanya kait na ganun. Hehe.. The residents are supposed to cut the silhouette pero sabi ni Miss Faye next week na lang daw. Tulad naming practicumers, kahit si MissFaye ay nawili ay nabilib sa mga gawa ng mga residents, especially kay G (female), kasi yung ginawa niya ay nagpapakita talaga ng kung sino siya here and now, at that exact moment kasi kung anong suot niya mismo ganun yung itsura ng drawing niya, at yung ang gusto ipakita ni Miss Faye regarding sa kanilang artworks nung araw na yun. Kung sino sila, kung ano yung naiisip nila, at mga gusto nilang makuha right then at that exact moment. Which is very relevant sa aming theme for that week. ^_^

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Controversial Lemon-Lime

Day 13: January 11, 2010;Monday

Since Sir Al ay wala ng araw na'to kasi natuluyan na siya magkasakit, kaming practicumers na ang naging in charge sa mga gagawin ngayon. Una nagtuturuan pa kami sino mag-iintroduce ng theme for that week which was LIVING IN THE HERE AND NOW. Para makapili kami ng mga activities na gagawin later sa morning and afternoon sessions, binasa ng ilan samin yung mga SLE namin tapos dun kami pumili. For the morning session, we've chosen The Grizzly Bear is Coming (from Mary's SLE) for an ice breaker, and Never Been and Prize in Life (from Laura's SLE). Since nasubukan na namin yung ice breaker, and found it really enjoying, we expected na mage-enjoy din ang mga residents dito, kahit na pinag-iisipan pa namin paano namin gagawin na walang touching involved kasi isa sa ground rules nila yun. Dana conducted the ice breaker and sadly, it turned out so differently. I am not to blame Dana kasi naisip namin na baka kaya ganun sila kasi naisip din nila yung ground rules nila, well, good for them kasi inaalala talaga nila yun, kaso hindi naman sila nag-enjoy. That ice breaker was followed by another ice breaker Never Been na ni-conduct ni Laura kasi parang hindi naman sila nabuhayan sa Grizzly Bear, then nag-join na din kaming mga practicumers. sa umpisa parang ganun pa din, pero after ng ialng try nakita ko na nage-enjoy na din yung iba. May mga residents na nakikipag-unahan talaga palitan yung nasa center tulad ni Ate L, na first time ko atang nakitang active mag-participate. May grupo naman ng residente na parang scripted yung mga sinasabi kasi sila at sila din nagpapalitan. At meron pa din na parang hindi nabuhayan. Tsk. Anyway, after nun ni-conduct na namin yung main activity na Prize in Life. I did the activity and was afraid na baka hindi pa din sila ma-energize, so I told them to shout yung prize na nakuha niyo as if nakuha niyo talaga! Kaso yung unang bumunot parang hindi naman nagustahan yung napili niya kahit na maganda naman. pero hindi pa din ako binigo ng iba pang residents, kasi nakita ko na nag-eenjoy na sila, especially dun sa mga gusto yung mga nakuha talaga nila at lalo na dun sa mga nag-aagawan ng mga Prizes. it felt nice to see them laughing and enjoying the game talaga. ^_^ Then Laura did the processing part of that activity.

For the afternoon session, we did experiencing sa mga activities na pinili namin i-facilitate bago mag 3:00 PM. Super saya ng hapon na yon actually kasi ang dami namin nalaro halos na para na kaming bata ule. Again, we asked if ganun din kaya magiging respond ng mga residents kapag sila naman yung gagawa?

We found that out during the session na. Tulad nung umaga, hindi naman sila na-energize sa energzizer naming Spelling Bee. :( After that nag-facilitate ako ng Lemon-Lime kung saan hinati namin sila sa 2 grupo. The game included making description to each resident of the other group. During the activity, we noticed na yung isang grupo does not follow rules kasi panay yung silip nila bago pa sila i-allowed na mag-counter face. Tapos fron the same group still, napansin namin na hindi naging maganda yung ga ginagamit nilang description kasi yung iba ay insulting na. Dana, our classmate belonged to that group, and she herself witnessed that. Although ilang beses ko nang sabihan yung group na yun regarding sa pag-cheat nila, ginagawa pa din nila. Unlike the other group na sumusunod talaga sa rules and hindi ganoon ka-insulting yung mga descriptions nila. After Lemon-Lime, Jean from NEU conducted a much serious activity Future Plans where in the residents will write and share their future plans to the group. Based on their answers, nakita ko na wala silang specific na plans or gustong gawin after ng program nila sa LCRC, although jean told them to be specific. There are still answers like Magbagong buhay, at meron din mabababaw lang tulad ng magkaroon ng bagong pet. When I asked that individual kung bakit yun lang sabi niya may magbibigay daw kasi sa kanya ng pet na dog kaya yun yung nilagay niya. Aside from that, wala na kong makuhang ibang insight from him.

Napansin namin na mas nage-enjoy yung mga residents kung yung activities ay mga fun games na involving physical acitivities, at mas nasasanay sila na laging ganun. While kapag mga serious type ng activity na yung gagawin that is includes sharing of thoughts and feelings, hindi nila masyado sineseryoso yung mga dapat gagawin. Naisip ko naman na baka kasi alam nilang wala si Sir Al nun kaya hindi sla ganun nagpa-participate sa mga activities, para bang wala silang kinikilalang authority. Siguro, kami mismo kailangan din namin mag-set ng authority para kahit wala si Sir Al magiging active pa din sila sa pag-participate.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Movie Watching! ^_^

Day 12: January 7, 2010; Thursday

Vren from UST joined us this time sa practicum, makakasama na namin siya sa LCRC every Thursday. She is nice and kind and madaling pakisamahan, as well as madaling makisama. I like her. :) Mharon was also with us then, and since nakakasama na namin si Mharon dati, okay naman kami lahat.

Since Thursday, we'll have service by Pastor Paul for the morning session, before preparing for the service, ni-meeting muna kami ni Sir Al regarding sa pag-aassign niya ng mga topics ng SLE. each student from UST, MCU and PUP was given a topic, sa akin napunta yung LOVE na supposedly kay Nadz. We have to make 5 SLEs regarding sa theme na na-assign samin, na isa-submit by Jan.29. After the meeting nag-start na kami mag-prepare ng songs para sa service. Rio chose the songs Mighty to Save, Now That You're Near, and Still. I personally liked the Still. Because I could no longer remember Pastor Paul's service, wala kong ma-share. :(

Anyway, for the afternoon session, we had movie watching. Supposedly we'll have I am Sam, kaso napanood na pala nila yun at hindi lang once, twice or thrice, may isa kasing nagsabi na pang-6th time na niya yun if ever. So Sir Al changed it to My Best Friend's Wedding, my all time favorite. ^_^ Kaya nga lang, hindi ata ganun nag-enjoy yung ibang resident, kasi may naririnig akong comments na boring, kahit ibang practicumers. Haay. :( Anyway, in-enjoy ko pa din, sinabayan ko lahat ng mga kanta sa movie, kasi favorite ko din mga yun talaga.

After ng movie watching, we talked for a short while with Sir Al, napagalitan niya pa kami kasi hindi kami nakapagpasa ng mga SLE namin since Thursday nun, every Thursday kasi pasahan ng SLE, eh since earlier that morning ng nag-meeting kami at mag-assign siya, akala namin hindi na kami gagawa kaya hindi na namin pinasa. Yun pala gagawa pa din kami. Tsk. He asked us na lang to submit it on Monday the following week, and told us to be mindful. And to take care of ourselves din kasi may sakit siya nun, para hindi daw kami magkasakit, kasi our body will always be our instrument para magawa namin yung mga dapat at gusto naming gawin. :)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I AM NOT SAYING.

Day 11: January 6, 2010; Wednesday

For the morning session, the residents had their aerobics, since naayos na yung player nila, ginamit na nila yung video ng aerobics so hindi na si Gayle ang kanilang instructor. Kaso bago pa makalahati yung aerobics, pinalabas ni Sir Al yung half sa'min (kasama ako dun) para i-segregate yung mga artworks/outputs ng bawat residents. Sobrang dami na pala yung mga artworks/outputs nila nahirapan kami paghiwa-hiwalayin, may mga artworks pa na 2 years ago pa, wala na yung mga residents na iba actually eh. May mga residents na creative talaga sa mga drawings nila, siguro nae-enjoy din nila talaga na gumagawa ng mga artworks sa pag-express ng mga nararamdaman nila, tulad nung nagpagawa kami para sa Christmas. Akala ko nung una baka isipin nila na masyadong childish yun pero nag-enjoy pala sila. :) Anyway, sa sobrang dami ng artworks, naghihiwalay pa din kami after ng aerobics nila until 12 noon halos. Whew!

For the afternoon activity, nagpe-prepare na pala si Sir Al ng activity - poem reading with sharing. Para magkaroon kami ng idea kung paano mangyayari at yung gagawin sa processing kasi mai-involve din kaming practicumers sa activity, Sir Al asked us to read the poem and choose a line that strikes us or we like most. Since the poem is really nice, I would like to share it with others who might read this blog. :)

PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I AM NOT SAYING

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks
Masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me.
But don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.

I gave you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without.
That confidence is my name, and coolness my game;
that the weather's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please.
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this, I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and my fear of being exposed.
That's why I frantically crate a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant, sophisticated facade,
To help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation. And I know it.
That is, if its followed by acceptance, if its' followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself.
that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't care. I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh will kill me.
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good,
and that you'll see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate game, with a facade of assurance without,and a trembling child within.
And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything.
Of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.
What I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say,
but which I can't say.

I dislike hiding honestly,
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
the superficial, phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.

The line with a highlight was my chosen line. I chose that line because it literally explains why am so often feel. I do not like being exposed - to rejection especially, and it is one of my weakness.

So we (practicumers) did an experiencing of the activity with Sir Al as the facilitator while waiting for the residents to finish their snacks. We did that because Sir Al would divide the residents into several groups and we will facilitate in each group the processing. During our experiencing, I felt a little shy in sharing and scared that I might not be able to do my part well as a facilitator during the activity.

At the session hall during the afternoon activity, Sir Al had divided the residents and each of us had 3 residents each. I was put in charge with the group of residents - R(male), P(male), and D(female). My first reaction was- why them? I'm afraid I can't handle them. Based on my prior observation, P does not participate in discussion; R is a type of man who does not like talking, he actually hates noise according to another practicumer and D has resistance towards sharing. Again, I felt hopeless on how am would encourage them to talk.

Naging okay naman kahit paano yung discussion namin, kasi si Ate D and Kuya R naman ay nag-share, kaso mabababaw lang, ayaw nila mag-elaborate or i-explain further, especially Ate D. Si Kuya P naman, wala siyang binigay na dahilan kung bakit yung binasa niya (first stanza) yung nagustuhan niya, yun lang daw gusto niya basahin saka kung ano na daw yung nakasulat dun yun a yung explanation nya. So nag-share na lang din ako tapos tinuloy ko na sa processing. Haay. Nalungkot naman ako dun, hindi kasi ako nasatisfied sa nagawa ko. On the other side, natuwa na din ako kasi first time kong makausap silang 3.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Be Authentic! Be Caring!

Day 10: January 4, 2010; Monday

Happy New Year sa mga residents!

First duty ko for the year 2010, I came at 2:00 PM na kasi tinanghali na ko ng gising dahil inabot ako ng madaling araw sa paggawa ng unang SLE na gagawin namin para sa theme for that week which is CREATING AUTHENTIC AND CARING RELATIONSHIP. Naabutan ko pa na nagpe-prepare ng letterings for the theme sina Haha and Dana, so what I did was to help Dana put the letterings in the stage. I foung the lettering so cute, because each letter has a hand background. Haha is indeed great with decorations. ^_^

Naabutan namin sa loob ng session hall si Sir Al talking with a resident. Then he asked me bakit ako late then told me na I, or anyone of us, must inform him first whenever we would be late or absent, so he would know.

I remember it was my first time to interact with some of the attendants of LCRC, like Kuya Angel, kasi he was helping us by cutting the masking tape. While doing so, nagkwento siya about sa isang resident na lumabas that time para uminom, kasi we noticed na unlike before, mas may buhay na ngayon yung resident, mas active, hindi tulad ng dati na parang laging nakatulala at walang kabuhay-buhay. 'Tas ayun, nabanggit niya na yung mga yun (yung dati) ay side effects ng mga pinapainom sa kanilang anti-psychotic drug, pero since may iniinom na din silang gamot na nagka-counterbalance ng side effects ng unang gamot, kaya nagkakabuhay na sila ngayon at mas masigla na.

Before the start of the afternoon session, naiwan pa ko sa loob finishing the letterings, iniwan ako nila Sir Al and dana para magmeryenda, since hapon naman na ko dumating baka busog pa daw ako. Huhu.. 'Tas saka naman lumabas yung mga residents from their room. It felt good to see some of them again, kaso onti lang yung natatandaan ko yung name, tapos two residents tried helping me with the letterings, one female and one male. Natutuwa ko sa male resident na yun kasi madalas niya kong i-approach siya din kasi yung unang resident na naka-encounter ko (at siya din yung tinutukoy ni Kuya Angel earlier), while yung female, natatakot ako sa kanya especially nung unang dating niya pero habang pinakikinggan ko sialng mag-usap na dalawa, I noticed that she has a sweet voice and very mahinahon. So I thought, hindi naman siguro siya nakakatakot talaga.

Dahil dalawa lang sila Haha and Dana para sa afternoon session then, sumama na 'ko sa group nila. Para gisingin pa sila from their nap time, I conducted the energizer nun. I think they liked it naman. The energizer was followed by Haha's activity (Line Up) and Dana's activity (Mirroring). Our class had experienced these activities na during our Group Dynamics subject and in Dance Therapy. I remember that we enjoyed these activities so much that i expected na ganun din sila. Sa palagay ko naman nagustuhan ng mga residents yung Line Up, kahit hindi lahat nakasali kasi 5 residents lang per team. Kaso when it came to the mirroring, hindi ata sila masyadong naganahan, hindi kasi nila nasunod yung instruction ni Dana plus nagawa na pala daw nila yun, pero still, it went well.

Maagang natapos yung mga activities nina Haha and Dana kaya nag-isip pa kami ng pang-back up na activity, whether it be an ice breaker or an activity talaga (lagi namin problema yun nung mga nakaraang duty namin kapag afternoon session nila). Then I tried to remember my SLE and then I ended up facilitating a super fun and super active game Caterpillar from my SLE. At first, natatakot pa kong humarap sa kanila at magpa-activity ng ganun, especially nung hindi ko pa ma-instruct ng tama yung game. Buti na lang, na-gets din nila until they were enjoying theirselves na. I would hear shouts from both groups and makikita talaga na naging alert sila. Yehey!

Syempre, hindi mawawala ang processing part after ng activity. Mas kinabahan naman ako dito. Takot nga kong magsalita sa harap ng klase, lalo naman na sa harap nila na hindi ko pa ganun kakilala, minsan kasi makakaramdam ka talaga ng rejection kapag nagdidiscuss na sa harap nila tapos wala ka namang makukuhang response, ganun yung naiisip ko. So before I start with the processing, am did a quick thinking of strategy to make most of them talk. What I did, am asked the residents that played a role in the game, the 2 leaders, the 2 babies and some other members. What I was surprised then was when I was able to make them talk, and most of all, makapag-elicit sila ng mga insights na gusto kong makuha nila from the game. That to be able to create a caring and authentic relationship, it will be helpful to learn to trust, be responsible, to have or provide a safe environment, and that kailangan punan ng bawat isa yung kung ano sa mga values na inenumerate nila ang sa tingin nila ang kulang sa relationship na meron sila.

After ng session na yun, I felt good towards myself and satisfied. Salamat sa mga residents. I see that they are being authentic when sharing their insights with me. ^_^

D&G Practicum Journal

Followers

Blog Archive

About Me