Going Out of the Box

Founded by Dr. Randy Dellosa,Life Change Recovery Center (LCRC) is a psychiatric facility and rehabilitation center for people suffering from schizophrenia, depression, addiction, and other unmanageable behaviours. It is located at #105 Scout Rallos Street, Brgy. Sacred Heart, Kamuning, Quezon City.

For further information about LCRC, you may contact 415-7964 or 415-6529. You may also visit www.randydellosa.com

 Day 19: January 25, 2010; Monday

This week's theme is FINDING MEANING IN LIFE. Sir Al had assigned me as in-charged and  the point person for this week. To begin the week, Laura facilitated an activity which we anticipated to be dramatic, dramatic in a sense that we expect them to react violently and emotionally to the activity. It was Rio's original activity, Laura just added a twist to it which made her responsible for what might the outcome be. And Laura indeed felt guilty after the activity, which made her promised to herself that she won't conduct an activity again until she recovered. tsk. haha! Through that activity, we witnessed how the residents expresses their irritation, anger. Kahit sa simpleng tingin lang nila, kita at ramdam na namin na nagalit sila sa ginawa namin. May ibang cool pa din after at nag-comment ng "okay lang..", pero may iba pa din talaga na titig pa lang kakatakutan na. haay. So, kahit hindi ako yung facilitator nun, naramdaman ko din mga naramdaman ni Laura. :(

Anyway, for me, the highlight for this day would be the discussion we had with Sir Al with every before and after the session. In the morning, he again reminded us that we did not come there to teach the residents. Kasi tama nga naman diba, no adults would like to be preach and taught by a kid or some one younger. I actually noticed the moment when the residents shut themselves off from the discussion. First, na-shock sila sa ginawa namin sa mga artworks nila then second, it appeared that they were being spoon-feed. However, I won't blame the facilitator with that kasi I know she was feeling nervous na sa mga nagiging reactions ng mga residents, maybe she couldn't think of other intervention para ma-break yung rage ng mga residents. Kaya pilit na lang namin siya ni-comfort during lunch kasi she kept on blaming herself. tsk.

According to Sir Al, we really could not avoid such to happen. Especially when dealing with people like them. And we must not blame ourselves kung ganun man yung mangyari, the problem is with them, they are having trouble accepting yung kung ano man yung gusto namin na ipakita sa kanila, thus, since we are the ones who are capable of understanding, kami na lang din muna ang mag-aadjust para sa kanila. hindi kami dpata papatalo or papadala sa mga reactions nila, sa pag-shut off nila or pagre-reject sa'min, Sir Al actually gave us an advice na we must learn to build shield against sa mga yun. At naniniwala ako dun kasi kung hindi, hindi lang physically, pati emotionally at psychologically ay mai-stress kami sa mga ganun. haay. T_T

For the afternoon session, the highlight was my activity. I was just so sad na tingin ko hindi ko siya na-justify. :( I find the activity relevant naman kaya sinama ko siya sa SLE for that theme, Going out of the borders in order to find meaning in your life, kaso nung discussion na namin with Sir Al, ang dami pa palang unanswered questions na hindi ko nakita so up until I was the one with the mic in hand, yung ulo ko naghahanap pa din ng answers sa mga tanong na yun na although nasagot ni Sir ay pilit kong iniisip pa'no yun idedeliver sa mga residents. The start of the processing part, I would say was okay, yung mga insights nanggaling sa mga residents mismo and am found myself delighted somehow kasi maliban dun sa mga madalas magsalita, may iba pang nag-participate tulad ng bagong resident saka yung resident na para sakin pinaka-makulit (hehe..). Yet, eventually, I noticed that the residents were getting bored, one was paulit-ulit na yung sinasabi nila, then I personally was so unsure of what I was doing, i'm sure napapansin na nila yun. What made it worst was yung utak ko mismo naguluhan na, nahilo na sa paikot-ikot na discussion ko plus I was sensing rejection tapos nervous pa, which made me so numb of other person aside from the resident.s I did not dare to look at my co-practicumers especially at our supervisor kasi natatakot ako, yun talaga nararamdaman ko during that moment. I could have melted from that spot talaga then. Whew! But Sir saved me! I did not know what made me look at my side and saw him giving signs of ''last two residents to speak and cut it!" Glad I had followed. whew!

After that session, again Sir talked to us to deliver some brutal feedbacks (although I did not actually believed kasi he can be more brutal than that. tsk.). He gave us advice about proper delivery messages, kasama dun yung tone namin, na dapat i-set namin yung mood na congruent sa activiy namin, to minimize "why" questions to give the objective of the activity first, and learning how to stop talking. Sabi ni Sir, there are things that we want to hear and there are also things that we need to hear, at yung latter yung mas essential kaya dapat maging open kami sa mga brutal feedbacks na mare-receive namin.

These brutal feedbacks, I believe will help me go out of my borders and expand my potentials, and maybe eventually, help me find the true meaning on my life. ^_^